Ryan said something today that kind of surprised me. He said it was weird to think that I could drive up to SLC so nonchalantly over the weekend (which I did, to see a friend), that I was so grown up and different from 2012. I had to pause and think about this for a minute.
I couldn’t write about all of the changes since 2012 in a single sentence.
The me in 2012 was a high school junior. She didn’t know how she would handle so many of her friends graduating high school, or her brother leaving. She didn’t know how she’d face AP classes and tests, and not making the cast of the fall musical. She didn’t know how she would manage to be a director over seven high school students, or whether her play would be a huge success. She wouldn’t imagine she would be threatened to be kicked out of the house at graduation or how she would feel at graduation. She couldn’t imagine working 13 hour days at a duplex she hardly knew existed, or being kicked out of her mother’s volleyball group, or the dynamics of living in a family of four, or being functionally the oldest sibling of the house. She couldn’t imagine not getting accepted into BYU, the crisis of finding a college, enjoying UVU, being a college freshman, getting a D on a test for the first time in her life, working at Savers, going through a car accident, volunteering at a zoo working with the public, handling zoo animals, winning a Women’s B UOVA (volleyball) competition, completing a 100-page novel, writing a long fan fiction with a fantastic ending, having financial worries, driving three hours away by herself, writing guys that she didn’t even know, writing e-mails that were functionally journal entries every week for a year and a half, or what a singles’ ward would be like.
Wow.
I could, however, say in a single breath that I have changed immensely and not at all.
Many of my close friends are still the same people I would’ve counted as a junior. My older brother is still my favorite person, I live a few houses away from my longest and bestest friend (now 19 years old!) and in the same house, I’m going to school, I still want to be a zoo worker and a published author, I love volleyball, I love cosplaying, I read books and obsess over fan fiction, I have the same nicknames, I’m overly-optimistic about the future, and I still can’t wait for my big brother to get home from his mission.
The 2012 junior would be awed, surprised, dazed, disappointed, and euphoric to learn all of the changes about 2014 me. Two years is a crazy amount of time, and I’m not even all the way through it yet.
D8 (lean head to the right to see the correct expression)
O.O
That’s a rather scary, but actually pretty uplifting thought. In the last year and a half (Summer 2012) or somewhere around there, what’s changed in your life? What would you as a junior in a high school be blown away by? And what has stayed the same?
~Crimson
